Oi, God, Are You There?
by aosachi
Summary: [Warning: OOC & 1st fanfic :'( ] The most powerful esper ever vs the most unbeatable girl ever. Saiki Kusuo is an psychic user with the power equal to the God and Teruhashi Kokomi only a mere girl whom favored by God itself, actually. So, what will he do? Witnessed their little journey in this collection of short fics.
1. Prologue

"Saiki-kun, good morning!"

Wow, if a girl as beautiful as her appeared before my eyes with her shining smile which defeated the sun itself and became a first person who greet me today, I must be blessed for having an excellently great day.

Yes, only in your imagination, Teruhashi-san.

Oke, I give up. _I must be blessed.._ for having all of this killer stare behind my back right now, _I really am_.

I hope it's that kind of hardcore fanboys's joke but unfortunately it's not even a J from joke. I don't even need telephaty for listened to every whisper around me about us—lemme correct it, about how they want to buried me alive for having guts to steal their so-called-queen.

Oi, Kokomins, If I want stealed her, I had done it perfectly without everyone noticed it, to begin with. Hem? You asked how I could do it? Are you serious asking that? Are you read this before know who I the-creature-beyond-your-average-human am?

Oh, c'mon, its pretty easy, I'd said. I just need to control humanity's mind for vanished the Teruhashi-Kokomi-:-embodiment-of-perfection word in their mind, so all of you would left her alone. Then, I will get her by my side with that very power. Forever together, happy ever after. The end.

See, it's simple, right?

But, have I ever did this? Of course, no. I never want it nor have crossed my mind. I don't need that romance thingy in my life when my whole life is the epitome of disaster already.

Oke, just say, I still am human genetically—I mean if we talked about how my parents looks like human perfectly. Therefore, maybe one day, I will need reproduce for the sake of humanity.

But, listen, if no way out of that option, just please lemme have it with another living girl who can't speak and who can't think.

I'm done with girl's mind, oke?

"Ah, Saiki, sorry if you have to walk with me to the class, it just.. can't be helped right?" Said her as she slipped her hair to the back of ear with hesitate and Iooks all cute—from a mere human's sight, of course.

 _'Fufufu, Saiki doesn't even mutter a word. He must be too surprised for opened his mouth. I mean, the prettiest girl ever lived in this world walking side by side with the plain guy like himself to the class? It's a beautiful worldly sin to the point you don't even wanted to move an inch from our sinful distance~'_

Yes. What you just read is a girl's mind who just said how she feel sorry for disturbed my morning time.

Lemme introduce you, this blue haired girl, Teruhashi Kokomi. She is the most perfect girl who ever created by the God and have been living in the world who admired her beauty for 16 years, they said.

To the extent, there's no word _denied_ in her brain.

I mean, is she never think that I don't want to opened my mouth because the risk is you will clingy like a snot much more than before? Is she never know how _the_ _risk_ I could get if I walked away and left you behind in front of your whole fans?

No matter how flat my looks in front of her or how I never _offu_ to her like she always want from me, she never give up. _Even for once, she never had_.

Because, she sure it's only time. She sure, I will kneel down before her like others in the end. Because, she is your _unbeatable girl,_ no more no less.

No, it's not your eyesight in fault here. Those word really comes from _myself_ , the most powerful human who born with every psychic power.

Welp, I'm human, genetically. I'm not your God who also—magically illogical—get all blinded by Teruhashi Kokomi.

I know, i have an equal power which may ashamed the God. But, still, human vs God? Are you serious?

Oi, God, can't you helped me for once?


	2. Chapter 1

**_Umm.. Hallo, I guess? Hehe_**

 ** _Ugh, please accepted my gratitude for being here and bear with my first fic :')_**

 ** _I don't know that we can't edited the published chapter here (As in Wattpad), *or i just dont know how to do it?* so yeah, I happened to upload the first chapter without give a precise warning before you read this._**

 ** _Therefore, this is the warning: pardon me for OOC, slowness on their progress, and that holy grammatical error._**

 ** _Well, hope you enjoyed it even for a second? Hehe._**

*

Chapter 1: Otaku (1)

 _I know every thought that crossed her mind._

Looks dramatic enough? Yes.

Looks dangerous enough? I bet you all said, no.

Oh yes, I know how girls will get all excited when the guy they love have that deep understanding over them. Yes, when your love partner is an esper who have the power of mind reading, they will reached the high level of perceptive over yourself. I sure that's such a pleasant dream for every girl out there.

So, as an esper who have that power, that's also what I will do to Teruhashi-san. Rest assured, I will make sure she tasted that pleasant dream.. _in her dream_ , though.

A few days ago, I found that she hate anime girl figure. Oh, if I were her loyal fans I would destroy those figure in front of her and standing _smugly_ on their pieces below my feet. But, this is _me_ we're talking about, so I took them with grateful face before her enlarged eyes—well, I must admit that I loved that expression of her, she must be grateful enough to hear this.

Basically, our whole date yesterday is planned to get her tired of me. Unfortunately, with the power of her helpless idiot siscon, yet she fallen deeper to me. Nothing I could have done that time, I can't stopped her heart beating nor slower her heart beat. I just stood beside her blushing face and take note to myself ; I have to make sure not to hold her hands anymore or _god-knows-what-she-will-do_.

That plan is failed but at least I know what she despise; a hardcore otaku who get lovey dovey with their anime girl figure.

Therefore, here I am. Standing quietly behind my dad with the _nanana_ thing in my hand. I have turned lullaby on in his empty head but that emptiness has echoed with his laugh over television program. This is my only option, Dad.

As my hand lifted this _nanana_ thing, in the next persecond, he avoided my attack _casually_.

"Haha! My special training for your surprised attack has paid off, Kusuo!" He shouted as pointed his index finger to his youngest son.

I sighed. Look how cocky his face right now, he must be thinking that he has defeated his powerful son. ' _Why not you trained yourself for became a human being instead?'_ I said telephatically.

"What creature you did see me—whoa!" Dad gasped, surprised to see my face only a mere inch before his eyes.

See, I told you. His empty head already that full from overproud until he forget that his powerful son is actually a powerful esper who teleport is not a big deal.

"Mama!!"

I frowned to see him screamed pathetically. I know he is the embodiment of pathetic to begin with, but his face right now looks like he asked mom to chase the cockroach away. And, I hate it for standing on the same level with that disgusting thing.

I'm not wrong if i want to deal with him as fast as i could with that _nanana_ thing, am i? See, deal with Dad takes so much of my precious time. ' _Dad, I just wanna borrow your body for a while.'_

"Borrow my body? What for?! You could grope high school girl's body with my hand but what's the meaning if you can't share the sensation to me, huh!"

I speechless and start wondering how could Mom married this hopeless guy like him. This is why I can't have a clear grasp about love.

Well, I'm not that free for started a flashback about them, i have my own business. I can't tell Dad my real reason. I rather fight God than let him know that I want to go to holy land of otaku with his body as my outer appearance. I can't even imagined if he found out my plan for buying an anime girl figure.

 _Why not you make yourself useful for once?_ I back away from his question. _Ah, let's see, from now on, I will wake up so late and let you go to—_

I stopped my sentence spontaneously as I heard this familiar annoying voice in front of my house. The laugh of girl who acted so friendly with my Mom.

No other girl as bold as Teruhashi-san. Dead on.

' _Teleportati_ —bad news. Wow, I never know teleportation could give me a big deal. Why this power has it's spare time, to begin with?!

I don't have another option than run as fast as I could to my room and locked myself there but that's not even an option when what i could see right now is Mom's wide smile and blue haired girl with a tint of blush in her face.

"Good afternoon, I just want to deliver cakes from my older brother as his apology for the difficulities Saiki-kun had."

Ah, what did I say just now? _I rather fight the God?_

No, those very God won't even look at me if I were to standing before him with my full power when their eyes already sealed to Teruhashi-san. They just overlooked my perfect plan and doesn't give me a chance for started the plan.

"What a great coincidence!" Suddenly, Dad jumped off the floor and run to her, "Kusuo want to go to somewhere, how about you accompany him? Well, he doesn't said it yet but my fatherly instinct told me he wanna go to some place."

It's useless, his useless fatherly instinct is for beat me up, to begin with. No matter how I would denied it, Mom's eye already sparkled so bright and Teruhashi-san already bite her lower lips to suppressed her happiness, asking God to make our second date actually happened. Dad must be enjoyed this so much since the monster lies beneath my soft Mom and the God side by side with Teruhashi-san has stared me intensely.

If only, my telephaty catched Teruhashi-san's heart voice then, my perfect plan would never ruined helplessly like this.

Oi, God, at least how about you give me _anti-teruhashi_ radar?


	3. Chapter 2

**Hello :'))**

 **Again, thanks for being here v for your follow your favs. It means a heaven for me :D**

 **Lemme apologize first for OOC *bow***

 **for their slow progress.. i want to emphasize their progress here bc their development for me is SaiTeru's strong point, and for that holy grammatical error**

 **Last warning: I'm sorry for every otaku who read this chapter, I verbally abusive toward us--yes, I'm an otaku too, oke?**

 **Hope u could enjoy it :")**

*

Chapter 2: Otaku (2)

"offu!"

 _'3456th offu, nice nice, aw 3457th. Yes, my presence enough for transformed this into the holy land of offu~'_

Just, what is exactly the-holy-land-of-offu?

I sighed, i have to admit that she was right. As long as i know, this crowded place its famous for how its managed for lived up to its name, the holy land with its full service for otaku which bring their most enjoyment.

But, since when otaku dressed up normally and don't bring any thing that identified them as otaku who spend their money here? Moreover, how could some manager even closed their store and commanded their workers for put down their store accessories for transformed into a normal store from an otaku store in a mere seconds?

 _Scary_ , Teruhashi-san's power really is terrifying.

If anything my wide range of power is the scary one, of course. But, even myself don't have any power for turned otaku to the normie one in a second and engraved their heart with a 3D's name—Teruhashi Kokomi, that is. I don't need to describe how powerful she is right now, do i? Just imagined how dirty stain has swept away by a super cleaner detergent that created directly by those hand of God.

Well, at least it's help my biggest problem. I thought my telphaty would suffer a lot from otaku's internal scream of happiness, but what I find is their mere offu. It's much better, to be honest, despite the fact of their pathetic face is disturbed my field of sight.

 _'But still, no matter how billion people muttered an offu for me, Saiki has yet muttered an offu even for once. Doesn't he realized how blessed he was actually? I mean this goddess of me have willed to grant his beg on his kneel for accompanying him to this unbelieavable place ever.'_ How did she even counted their offu perfectly when she can't remember that i never ask her to accompany me with that shameful stance? I prefer hugged tons of Toritsuka's porn magazine with drool

over my face to kneel down before a mere human.

It's okay actually. It saved my time. I can make her lost interest of me by this day.

 _'likability power activated'_ So, for the sake of my success, I activated my likability-meter from Teruhashi's feeling, only for turned it off again in the next seconds.

No, after giving it some thought it's more interesting to see her happy expression decreased to the her disappointed face.

"So, where do you want to go, Saiki-kun?"

I don't need to answer that as I walked into the action figure store. I glanced over her who walk beside me, yes, it's like what I want, that prideness on her face has faded out when she following me to a girl figure section.

' _Wh..what is Saiki doing? He really bring myself to th-this half naked action figure? What if someone took picture of me and caused uproar to our country by the most-perfect-girl-is-actually-otaku headline? How could he do this??'_

Yes, I could Teruhashi-san. I'm feeling so _grateful--_ as you want--right now on your presence here for me.

For Teruhashi Kokomi, a perfect girl would never ever stutter, even in their dream. _'Is-is he gonna buy them, worshipped them in his house, licked them every night—or, even o-o-o-offu to them?!'_ Yet she stuttered with shameful imagination about the guy she loves.

What a high level that offu, actually. Not to mention, it's even above that Toritsuka's ritual--licked his porn magazine. Scary. I won't ever say offu for the rest of my life, even if I have to reincarnated as cockroach in my next life.

Well, thats shows how big my plans impact for her. I'm pretty sure her likability for me has fallen so low. A smirk appeared in my face as I walked over her with a random girl figure in my hand, Sorry God, it's my win.

 _'No!'_

My eyes widened in shock, for a second I thought those very God has bestowed upon their golden creature a telephaty power for replied my message just now. I thought that's only my temporary shocknees, but her face leave me speechless.

I still could her heart beat with anger yet what shows in her blue orbs is slowly defeated that very anger, a determination slowly lighten up those eyes, _'even though this is so disgusting, but I could know Saiki-kun's taste on woman! Bring it on, Saiki-kun!'_

I can't even put my poker face by now. A sigh escape my mouth with a smirk comes in the next second. Okay, I accept her challenge. I don't care with a number of God who kneel down before her as long as she can't toppled my power.

I have my advantage here, Teruhashi-san. Through my clairvoyance power, I found the holiest girl figure In this store, a figure with ridiculous boob size compared to it's head. So, I take this with my gross face—i won't admit but I owe Toritsuka's annoying presence in my life for this one.

As I want, Teruhashi suffered a big hit. She can't even say a word right now, just standing there with her defeated face, "Sa-sa-sa-sa.."

I hate to use this grotesque face myself, but what matters right now is its all over, Teruhashi-san.

 _'No.'_

Again, my telephaty catch that fierce battle in her head, stopped myself from draw a relief sighed.

 _'I have to control myself. It's okay, Saiki-kun is a guy to begin with, so.. it's a no-no-normal thing, right? I mean those size laughable enough, no real girl actually has that ridiculous size! Ah, I know! Aside of those boobs, the hair is green?! I know it must be that one! Okay, I will co—_

This is ridiculous. If this figure can't even beat her, no other figure could do that.

I hate to admit this, but I just will spend my money without taste the win. As I returned that figure, I quickly set up the plan B . No, the plan B its not what you expected. I won't ever put that grotesque face for a male figure, Never ever. I had enough of those bait with Nendou or.. Nendou.

The plan B is otaku clothing store. The plan I despised by myself. Look at this, a row of anime clothes which looks so silly. Anyone who wear this in the middle of town automatically labelled as an otaku by every citizen there, no more no less. I can't even imagined myself to be that certain miserable one as I have to stabilize my likability meter. But, Teruhashi-san is the exception, of course.

No need for wasted some time for me to found the stupidest cloth here. I took them in front of Teruhashi-san who still followed me as always. In dressing room, I stare my reflection on the mirror and let a depressed sigh, even Kaidou with his ridiculous clothing sense much better than my looks right now.

 _'Geez.. Why Saiki-kun drag me all the way to this kind of clothing store? Look how those otaku stared at me, they must be assumed that I want to do some clospaying, arent they. The worst thing is Saiki leave me alone as he--_

Wow, I can't wait to see how worse your suffering when I show here my lame cosplay after this.

 _'—wait! Saiki-kun is changing right now and I waited for him? That means, Im his special one for witness him with his new clothe! Aren't we look like a couple in their clothing dat--_

Enough for this. I don't need my power for know how her expression would be if I appeared with different looks. No matter how idiot my clothes, her smile will always as wide as ever, not to mention a flower will bloom on her head as she clapped and praised me like what mothers do to their sons first appearance on stage.

"Eh, Saiki-kun, why dont you change some clothes?"

" _Canceled_." I replied her telephatically, ignore how her mind fussed over curiosity for my new looks.

Soon after, i change to the new plan and everything is resulted on my failure. I can't help to get all stupid as I dont realized the sun gonna down in minutes when all I could see right now is a bright sun on Teruhashis face.

So, what's actually happened today? I have tried every possible way to the looks of otaku yet for the sake of God, she still replied me with her bright smile. Never once I found her mind sickened by my appearance, _never once_. Just, what's with this girl? Is her brain has suffered a big damaged to the point she can't even make a proper respond according to her taste?

Seriously, I know exactly what she hates or what she despised. As for my case, I hate those-small-thing-you-called-as-bug and i would destroy the vicinity for avoide those insect, for all I care. It's surely what you called as hatred. So, why this girl never backed away for even once?

"Saiki-kun?"

I blinked as Teruhashis face suddenly occupied my entire field of view. Crap, for how long I stared at her face blankly? She gonna killed me with her partying mind for celebrate that I've captivated by her beauty, won't she?

 _'Is Saiki-kun has tired already? But, I still want to go to every otaku store here if it means spend longer time with him.'_

As I heard her mind, i activated my likability meter unconsciously only to see her numbers on me increased, instead of decreased like what my goal was. So, I was not wrong when I see my result of her likability. Its not a God tricks, to begin with. Since beginning, her likability for me already unbelievably high to the point, I turned likability meter off to calmed myself.

So, no matter what I do, no matter how disgusted I'm with otaku style she despised of, Teruhashi-san would still--

"Hey, Saiki-kun! Look what I've found, this store has a coffee jelly, should we try it?"

I sighed. I can't even asked God to do something right now as my brain still process this new information about Teruhashi Kokomi. _Yare, yare.._ it's my turn for followed her for a while, huh?


End file.
